buttons
by intoxicatedclarity
Summary: Mikasa gives Jean a gift for his birthday that makes absolutely no sense. At all.


a/n: this is so dumb. this is the dumbest thing i've ever written and it's filled with flustered mikasa and jean and it sucks so. there.

this kind of ties into my other fic, porcelain (which you should definitely go check out if you haven't already), but it can also stand alone.

anyways, happy birthday to my baby boy jean kirstein! i wrote this for you qt patootie.

enjoy!

* * *

On his 16th birthday, Jean didn't feel like the regular kids that were celebrating their coming-of-age.

Instead, he felt rather old. And empty.

The Levi Squad had held a small celebration for him, one night just for him to relax and let loose. After months of hiding in abandoned places and disappearing from society, the squad was more than welcome to honor his birthday, even though he assured them that it wasn't a big deal.

Which it really wasn't. Birthdays just mark how long you live and how much closer you are to death. That's just how he thought about it.

He never really got to celebrate his birthday during his childhood, and he was a little surprised to see that night that he had received a few presents from his friends.

He had received a bar of soap from Levi (probably to remind him that he smelled like shit), a stolen ration from Sasha (which Levi tried not to berate her for), some half broken brush from Connie ("You obviously need it more than me!"), a small book from Armin (he knew that Jean secretly loved reading in his free time), another brush from Historia (the squad did love his hair, after all), and a pair of socks from Eren (which was probably stolen as well, but nobody commented on this).

Jean was more than flattered to know that they actually thought about him enough to get him a gift, but there was something a bit… off about this gathering.

He realized after a moment that Mikasa was nowhere to be found.

He didn't dwell on this fact, mainly because she didn't expect him to get anything, nor even greet him. He tried not to let it get to him that she wasn't even here—she probably had better things to do anyway.

It had been exactly two months since they last had a moment to themselves—he had kissed her suddenly that night when she almost died in the rescue mission to save Eren…but other than that, they had barely done anything.

They were friends, yes, and they did talk to each other often.

But Jean knew that in a world like this, being _anything_ with _anyone_ was not recommended.

Since they had kissed, things had been significantly different between them. There was obvious attraction on both sides, but he wasn't sure whether she had the exact same feelings for him as he did her.

Which is why he understood her absence on his birthday.

She had nothing to give, and she didn't need to give anything.

But it still kind of hurt that she wasn't there.

* * *

It was almost three when he stumbled into his makeshift room, the party finally ending and his energy draining as the night ended. His room was dark and he scrambled to find his bed, his surroundings still unfamiliar to him as this was a new place they were staying in.

He was about to jump onto the bed when he felt it rustle on its own, a figure sitting up at the edge and catching him off guard immediately.

Jean quickly grabbed the closest object to him, which happened to be the new brush Connie had given him, and switched on the lamp beside to find—

A black haired woman. Raven hair, gray eyes, crimson scarf, long skirt and—

_Fuck_.

Mikasa looked up to him and his state of fear, and she threw her hands up in defense. "Jean, calm down—"

"What the hell, Mikasa?" he spewed out, rubbing his face and lowering the brush in his hand.

He sighed loudly and looked away from her, his face turning red as soon as he noticed that she was sitting on _his_ bed, in _his_ room, alone with just him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked after gathering himself, avoiding her dark eyes.

She shifted uncomfortably, looking around the dim room. "I, uh…" She cleared her throat. "I was… waiting."

He scrunched his brows. "For?"

"For… you…" She murmured softly, gripping her mocking scarf and lifting it to cover her (soft, soft)lips.

He didn't know how to react, instead glancing away. "Why?" he asked, a little caught off guard and a little angered. "You could have come to me outside." He nervously thumbed the brush in his hand. "We were all out there."

She didn't respond, instead looking at the gift in his hand.

"Connie gave that to you, right?" she questioned, staring at the brush. Jean looked at the said object and nodded.

She smiled softly, letting the scarf fall to reveal her beautiful, beautiful smile that was so rare he didn't think it was real.

"I told him to give you that." She said, gesturing to it.

Jean's eyes widened, quickly looking down at his possession and raising it to his view to examine it.

It wasn't even in good shape. It was awkwardly disfigured and had pieces broken off, clearly having gone through bad days.

"You told him to give me… this?" He pointed at it, a hint of a smirk playing across his face.

She rolled her eyes. "It still works. It's not that bad."

Jean chuckled. "I didn't mean it like that," He said. "I'm just surprised to know that you picked this."

Mikasa shrugged, looking away. "I didn't pick it," She explained, "Everybody kept asking me what to get you, and I just sorta…" She brought her eyes back to him. "I just gave them suggestions."

_Well_. He didn't expect this.

"You helped them get gifts for me?" He asked in astonishment.

Mikasa nodded, reddened cheeks giving way. "It's no big deal."

_No, no, it is a huge deal._

"Oh, well…" He crossed his arms, smirking fully. "Thank you, Mikasa."

She huffed. "I haven't given you my present yet." She said rather quickly. It was like her to get straight to the point.

He stared at her. "You got me something?"

"Of course, idiot," She told him. "It's your birthday."

"I know, obviously," He chuckled, her words amusing him. "So then why weren't you with us out there if you had a gift?"

Jean instantly saw her blank demeanor change, her face slowly filling with embarrassment and her already flushed face turning even more scarlet.

"I…" She fisted her right hand suddenly. "I didn't want to give it to you in front of them."

"Oh?" He raised a brow.

"Yes," She fumbled with her fingers suddenly and hid her face from his view.

"Well then, may I receive my present now?" He asked jokingly.

Mikasa was a mess, maroon scarf hiding her sudden discomfort. Jean had never seen her like this. It was new to him, and also kind of cute.

After a moment of watching her assemble herself, she took a deep breath and stuck out her hand in front of him. Her head was bowed and she was avoiding his eyes as she presented her gift to him.

"Happy birthday, Jean."

He stared at the object in her hand and cocked his head, trying to figure out what it was.

When he figured it out, he didn't know whether or not she was trying to play a sick joke on him.

Nevertheless, Jean was utterly confused.

"A… button?"

In her hand was a small, dainty, white button, shining in the moonlight and completely throwing Jean off.

She looked up into his amber eyes with a straight face. "For that shirt you always wear with your uniform." She explained.

_…What?_

"Mikasa," He said, taking the gift and eyeing it closely, before meeting her eyes again. "A button?"

She nodded, her nerves jerking at her as she watched him examine the button.

He was still completely lost. "My uniform…?" He asked.

She cleared your throat. "Just in case… a button ever falls off…" She said. "I looked at your shirt, and it's the same kind as all the other ones. So I just…" Mikasa shifted uncomfortably. "I just wanted to give it to you."

Jean didn't know what surprised him more—the fact that Mikasa took it to herself to look that closely at his shirt, or the fact that Mikasa just gave him a button for his birthday.

"Uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh… Thank you, I guess."

She looked up at him with hopeful, gray eyes. "I know it's dumb and it's definitely not something that counts as a present," She sighed, resting her hands in her lap. "But… It made me think of you. And ever since I've had it, I've always kept it with me."

"Really?" Jean swore this night was just filled with surprises.

"It… It reminds me of you." She said quietly, her hand unconsciously gripping her scarf.

Jean didn't know what to think.

A button reminded Mikasa Ackerman of him.

"Sorry for the shitty gift," She commented, standing up suddenly. "But I have another gift to make up for it."

Jean's eyes widened again. "What?"

She made her way towards him and before he could even react, she grabbed his right sleeve and tugged him forward with her effortless strength. He yelped as he stumbled into her, only for the fall to be stopped by his lips meeting hers.

It's uncomfortable at first, their teeth knocking into each other because of his unpreparedness, but soon after he realized that _he was kissing her again_, he quickly grasped her face and kissed her harder, pulling her closer to him as she wrapped her arms around him.

Jean backed her up against the nearest wall and quickly pressed her body to his, latching onto her hips as she deepened the kiss.

They both pulled away later to catch their breath, their faces close to one another in a daze. He is totally lost in her and only her, holding her close.

"That was my other present," She whispered into his ear, breathing hard. "Happy birthday, Jean."

Jean chuckled. "Thank you," He said breathlessly. "I liked that one a lot."

His comment is earned a slap on the arm, and another press of her lips to his.

* * *

From that day and onward, he keeps the button in his pocket, occasionally fingering it whenever he thought about her. He doesn't understand why he does it, only doing it when she pops up in his head.

It was a stupid gift, and they both knew it, but he didn't care at all.

It reminded her of him, and now it reminds him of her as well.

And he thinks that it is probably his favorite gift out of all the ones he had received.

(Beside Mikasa's other gift, of course.)


End file.
